Redefining Success: Aligning Ambition with Personal Values
Success.
It’s a word we hear constantly—on social media, in the workplace, in our families. But whose definition of success are you living by?
As a counselor working with high-achieving women, I’ve had countless conversations with clients who have checked all the boxes—degrees, promotions, awards—yet still feel unfulfilled. Despite their accomplishments, many find themselves wondering:
“Why doesn’t this feel as good as I thought it would?”
“Is this really what I want—or what I thought I should want?”
The truth is, many high-performing women are living according to someone else’s version of success: societal expectations, cultural norms, or internalized messages from childhood. While ambition is a powerful force, it can become misaligned when we don’t pause to ask:
What actually matters to me?
Success That Feels Like Success
In counseling, one of my goals is to help clients shift from external validation to internal alignment. This means reconnecting with your core values—those deeply held beliefs that guide your decisions, fuel your motivation, and give life meaning.
Using techniques from Motivational Interviewing, I often invite clients to explore questions like:
What does success mean to you—right now, in this season of life?
When have you felt most energized or fulfilled?
What would it look like to succeed on your own terms?
This is a collaborative, nonjudgmental process that helps you uncover your "why"—the personal drivers that often get buried under layers of obligation and expectation.
Using Value Card Sorts to Clarify What Matters
One of the most effective tools I use in therapy is the Values Card Sort—a simple but powerful exercise that helps clients identify and prioritize their most important values. These might include things like:
Creativity
Family
Financial Security
Helping Others
Freedom
Spirituality
Adventure
Balance
Once we identify your top values, we explore how closely your current goals and daily life reflect them. Often, there's a noticeable gap between what matters most and how time or energy is actually being spent.
When your actions and ambitions are aligned with your values, success starts to feel more authentic and sustainable.
Permission to Redefine
Here’s something I remind my clients often:
You have permission to redefine success—and to change that definition as you grow.
Maybe you once believed success meant constant productivity, and now you're craving balance. Maybe you once thought being “the best” was essential, and now you value being present. That evolution is not failure—it’s growth.
Therapy can provide a space to explore that shift with curiosity rather than judgment. Together, we can challenge old narratives, clarify what truly matters, and create goals that reflect the real you—not just the version of you the world expects.
Final Thoughts
Success isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s not just about how much you achieve—but how aligned you feel while achieving it.
At Climbing Hills Counseling, I help high-achieving women reconnect with their values, clarify their purpose, and design lives that feel both meaningful and manageable.
If you’re feeling out of sync with your success, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Let’s talk.
Call: 336-600-4455
Email: lauren@climbinghillscounseling.com
