Rethinking Self-Care: A Realistic Guide
You’ve probably heard it before: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
But if you’re a high-achieving woman or a mom juggling a million responsibilities, even filling the cup can feel like one more thing on your to-do list.
We live in a culture that glamorizes self-care—bubble baths, yoga retreats, green juice. But for many women, especially those who are ambitious and nurturing, self-care can start to feel like a pressure-filled performance rather than a genuine act of replenishment.
Let’s redefine self-care—not as another obligation, but as a foundational way to sustain your energy, clarity, and joy.
What Is Self-Care, Really?
Self-care is any intentional activity that supports your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. It’s not selfish, indulgent, or optional. It’s a necessity—especially if you’re used to being the go-to person for everyone else.
But here’s the twist: real self-care isn’t always pretty. Sometimes, it looks like saying “no” to a volunteer request. Sometimes, it’s going to bed early instead of scrolling. Other times, it’s booking a therapy appointment or asking your partner to take over for an hour.
The Benefits of Self-Care
When practiced consistently and intentionally, self-care can help you:
Reduce stress and anxiety
Increase emotional regulation and patience
Improve focus and decision-making
Strengthen your immune system
Deepen your connection to yourself and others
Prevent burnout and resentment
Self-care builds resilience—something every high-achieving woman and mother needs in abundance.
When Self-Care Backfires: The Burnout Trap
Here’s something not enough people talk about: Self-care can become a source of burnout.
If you approach self-care like everything else—with perfectionism, over-scheduling, and the pressure to “do it right”—you can end up exhausted and resentful. You may start thinking:
“I’m meditating, journaling, and meal-prepping. Why do I still feel depleted?”
“I tried a gratitude practice but now it’s just another task I feel guilty about missing.”
That’s because real self-care isn’t a checklist—it’s a practice of tuning in. The goal isn’t to do more; it’s to listen more closely to what you actually need in each moment.
Actionable Steps to Reclaim Self-Care
If you’re ready to create a more meaningful, sustainable self-care practice, here’s how to get started:
1. Pause and Reflect
Start by asking yourself: What makes me feel most like myself? What replenishes me vs. drains me?
Use the Self-Care Inventory to explore different areas of self-care—physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, relational, and professional. This tool helps you identify strengths, gaps, and actionable goals.
2. Start Small and Be Honest
Pick one area of self-care that feels neglected and choose one small, sustainable step.
Examples:
Physical: Go to bed 30 minutes earlier.
Emotional: Journal for 5 minutes after a hard day.
Relational: Ask for help without apologizing.
3. Set Boundaries
Remember: saying “yes” to yourself often means saying “no” to something else. This might mean limiting social obligations or reducing screen time. Boundaries are a form of deep self-respect.
4. Release Perfectionism
You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t need a full hour or the perfect setting to care for yourself. Consistency over perfection is the goal.
5. Create a “Minimum Baseline”
What are 2–3 things you can commit to doing most days, even during chaos?
Example: “Drink water, take 10 deep breaths, text one friend.”
Final Thoughts: Self-Care as an Act of Self-Trust
High-achieving women and moms are often celebrated for their strength, multitasking, and drive—but what if your true strength lies in your ability to care for yourself with the same intention you offer others?
You don’t need a whole new routine. You need permission—to rest, to feel, to pause, to say no, to say yes to what actually fuels you.
Self-care isn’t just what you do—it’s how you relate to yourself.
Want personalized support to rebuild your self-care in a way that works for you?
Dr. Lauren Chase specializes in helping high-achieving women and moms overcome burnout, reconnect with themselves, and create meaningful lives from the inside out.
lauren@climbinghillscounseling.com | 336-600-4455
Virtual services available in North Carolina and South Carolina
